Thursday, February 4, 2010

Ahh, Sweet February

Wow, how time flies!?! I haven't posted in months. Time just seems to pick up and go and leave us in dust. Things have been a bit different lately. We finally decided to join the high ranks of parenthood...Baby W will be here in September. Exciting. What seemed like an ETERNITY of trying..really wasn't. Only a few months..which is normal I hear. lol. I will never forget seeing the 2 pink lines instantly. I stood there..dead in my tracks and said (pardon me) HOLY SHIT..wooo hoo! ha ha! I was home by myself so i could scream as loud as i want..well even if anyone else would've been home..i still would've screamed. lol! Week 5, 6 & 7 were not so good. Sickness was AWFUL. It was like having the flu without the aches/pains. I was miserable. Week 8 was better, but still sickies off and on. I am on week 9 now..feeling mucho better and sickness has been replaced with blah and tired feeling. :) i'll take that over sick though, any day! I still get the inevitable dry heaves in the morning though..that rocks. :( It only lasts a few very short minutes and i don't complain. It comes on fast and leaves that fast too! Thank goodness!

We went to colorado on Vacation a few weeks ago...aka..during the worst sickie weeks i had. YAY..what a great way to spend vacation. We talked about coming home early..but i stuck it out! It was amazing out there..beautiful, peaceful and just serene. I loved it!

I seem to be emotional easy lately..not a big fan of that. I usually cry once a day. Maybe it is theraputic. 99% of the time, it is due to having a question for my mom that I will never be able to ask and then i get all sentimental..yup..like now and just really really really really miss her. I try to be strong, but it just seems useless lately. I never thought i would have to go through pregnancy or labor with out her and it honestly terrifies me. The other day i realized what scared me the most..no matter what, she was the one person in life that I could count on forever to love me no matter what. Now, not saying that Troy doesn't..lol..but god forbid if for some god forsaken reason our marriage would end..i wouldn't have the person to love me no matter what. Her love knew no boundries and was unconditional. I miss that and realize it till she was gone. I feel like i took her for granted. Anyway..i could go on and on..but i must stop. :)

i feel a bit better just typing this out..seems to have gotten a bit out of my system...g'night.

5 comments:

Shannon said...

Woohoo you are back!! I am so thrilled to hear you are gonna be a mommy ;) Congrats!!

Rene said...

I totally understand what you mean. I know the loss of your mom is not the same as a loss of my sister but feeling like I took her for granted. All those dumb fights we had or things that I wish we did or were gonna do together will never happen. Some days it just seems so unreal that I will never see her until it is my time to go. Congrats again. And baby W will always have an angel looking out for him of her.

Sarah said...

When I first saw that you were pregnant, I cried happy tears for you! You and I have had many many many talks about babies and I just KNOW you're going to be a terrific momma!

Aren't those first few weeks the WORST?!? I'm glad you're getting past that stage! The 2nd trimester is always the BEST one!

I can't even imagine losing my mom Brandi... can't imagine. **hugs** Please call me if you need anything!!

Amber said...

I am so excited for you Brandi! I hope the best for you guys...I think about you often and wonder how you are doing...I can and can't say that I know how you feel...Jason misses his dad every day and sometimes I feel so helpless knowing he is hurting so bad and I don't know what to do or say...when we found out that I was preggo with our 3rd, we thought, what!?! In the middle of July?!? During fair weeks? Now we know why...Westen has been such a blessing in helping all of us cope. It's hard, too, for Jason to know that Westen won't know his grandpa...but, when one precious life passes, another precious life is born! :)

Angie said...

It made me smile when I saw you had blogged. Glad it made you feel a little better to get it out in type, maybe that will help you cope. Do you keep a journal to write out what you're thinking? (not for the baby, but for YOU)? I think you said you did, but if not, let me know. I know I have one I never gave as a gift to someone, it's just sitting at my house. And it's adorable!
Oh and of course I'm thrilled about the baby! If he/she comes on due date (do they ever?!?!) Mike will have a birthday buddy (well besides Shanna Zolman hahaha)
Love you!